Good Morning. No it Isn’t

November 11, 2008 at 6:26 am | In Weight Issues, Work | 15 Comments
Tags: anorexia, binge, binging, body mass index, bulimia, depression, Eating disorders, purging, recovery, therapy

They don’t fit. They do not fit me. My smallest jeans do not fit me. I knew this would happen.

I’m a monster. Failure. I want to hide under the duvet and never come out again.

Yes, rationally I know it’s not healthy for a person of my height to be a UK4, yes I know they were skinny fit jeans, and yes I know it was material on bone. That’s not the point though. I knew the minute I chucked the scales this would happen.

I’m no longer “proper thin”, I have become a ….. I don’t know what I’ve become.

Don’t want to go to work. Don’t want to go to work.

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how much do you weigh & how old are you ?

Comment by margarita — November 11, 2008 #

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Good Morning! Chuck the jeans away, then they will not be your smallest pair of jeans any more! Wear the other pair which have now beome your smallest pair! Voila!

Go to work girl! Otherwise you’ll sit and stew about the jeans.

Big Hugs xxx

Comment by hannah — November 11, 2008 #

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Thanks Han, it was just ANOTHER thing, do you know what I mean. It’s not like they fitted all that well, because my hipbones poke out so much at the back! They could never decide to go up over my hipbone, or down underneath, so I shouldn’t really mourn the loss

(But I do!)

Lola

PS It took me forever to find some small enough but long enough to fit

Comment by Lola Snow — November 11, 2008 #

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Margarita, if you check out my “about” section you’ll see that I don’t give my weight (technically I shouldn’t have put my size down but I thought it was relevant and I wasn’t thinking this morning)

I don’t give weights or BMI’s because a lot of people come looking for pro-ana hints and tips. It’s not my intention to make the sick any sicker. I’m 28,

Lola x

Comment by Lola Snow — November 11, 2008 #

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I agree with our friend Hannah, fuck it…chuck ‘em….

I think it’s great… liberating almost!

Toss them to fuck! And go buy a cake! (Or maybe a Ryvita, one step at a time eh?)

Cheers…

Me

Comment by Me — November 11, 2008 #

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maybe you should try to make a subtle distinction in your own brain between being “thin” and being a walking corpse? just sayin

Comment by vive42 — November 11, 2008 #

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Yeah I’m trying to do that (a bit). Telling myself having the same size waist as a 7 year old just looked plain weird, doesn’t seem to be working that well. Meh. I’ll get over it…

Comment by Lola Snow — November 11, 2008 #

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Must be a tough milestone…but it’s positive, honest :0) Seriously, well done. And lots of hugs x

Comment by Cellar_Door — November 11, 2008 #

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Thanks C_D….
clearly they shrank in the wash
I likes denial I does

Comment by Lola Snow — November 11, 2008 #

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God. I don’t think even one of my finger’s would be a UK size 4, LOL.

Seriously though, I agree with what others have said thus far. Chuck the jeans!

Lots of hugs,

xx

Comment by Lindsay — November 11, 2008 #

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They are going, going, gone! I actually took them into work with me, and chucked them on the way home. Therefore would be unable to change my mind!!!

Comment by Lola Snow — November 11, 2008 #

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Good work girl.

Really pleased for you!

Cheers…

Me

Comment by Me — November 11, 2008 #

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yay! go girl! big step forward! xxx

Comment by hannah — November 11, 2008 #

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Thanks both!

Comment by Lola Snow — November 11, 2008 #

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Lola,
You are a precious and valuable young lady. When you were created, a light shined in and lovingly put the pieces of you together. This light smiled as you learned to walk, toddering around and sitting down (splat)on your butt. This light clapped its ethereal hands with joy when you said your first word, and danced in glee as you learned to comb your hair and brush your teeth.
The tears of pain and grief slide down nonsubstantial cheeks as this Light of Love watches you disappear. . .
WE DO RECOVER

Comment by fabubabe — January 30, 2009 #

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